


Sith of One, Half-a-Dozen of Another

by darthhellokitty



Series: The Magic of Puggy Sue [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: Humor, M/M, Pets, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-03
Updated: 2011-04-03
Packaged: 2017-10-17 12:11:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/176737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthhellokitty/pseuds/darthhellokitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when things look darkest, a very special little dog saves the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sith of One, Half-a-Dozen of Another

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: This is just objectionable on so many levels. Misuse of canon, fanon, and pretty much anything else available.  
> DISCLAIMER: None of this belongs to me, nor should it.  
> This is the third in the Puggy Sue series, where a small dog spreads the magic of love wherever he goes. It was my husband's idea.  
> Lightly beta'd by Unovis.

The red-and-black patterned creature was like something out of a nightmare, so fast did he move - attacking and then retreating, leaping and spinning out of the way as the two Jedi, Master and padawan, pursued him. Using all their skill, the two were able to avoid his red, double-ended light saber, yet they could not touch him. There was no doubt - he was Sith.

Steadily, the Sith Lord led them out of the hangar, through the deepest corridors of the palace at Theed, ever downward, through the parking garage, until they ended up in the generator room. A hellish red light glowed there, and energy walls flashed on and off, alternately blocking them and opening the way. The Sith dodged past first one, then another of the pulsing red energy-walls. Obi-Wan almost cried out in dismay when a third energy-wall separated him from his Master.

Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn stood calmly, almost in meditation, on one side of a pulsing red barrier; on the other side, the Sith glared and paced. Obi-Wan could only look on in horrified frustration as the barrier vanished and his Master joined the hellish creature in a fight that seemed destined to end in death.

Suddenly, the wall between the two Jedi cycled off, and Obi-Wan raced to his Master's side. At the same time, a small, tan-colored beast skittered into view from behind an energy wall on the other side and began to bark ferociously at the combatants. Distracted, the Sith misjudged a jump and fell in a heap on the floor.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon moved as one, the beams of their light sabers crossing over the fallen Sith's head, threatening instant death at any moment. Instead, the Sith sat, defeated, as the little light-brown animal licked his face, revealing a brand in the shape of a broken circle.

"Xanatos!" Qui-Gon exclaimed in astonishment. He bent down and used his sleeve to wipe the rest of the paint from the fallen warrior's face. "I thought you were dead!"

"I only wished I was," sighed Qui-Gon's former padawan. "I thought turning to the dark side would be exciting, that I'd gain new power, greater strength."

"And you didn't?" Obi-Wan exclaimed in surprised. "I always heard that -"

"I always heard that, too." Xanatos carefully peeled away his terrifying yellow-red contact lenses, exposing eyes that were a striking ice-blue. "All I actually got was tricked, enslaved, and taken advantage of by the Sith Lord Sidious, who you know as Emperor Palpatine."

"Palpatine! I've always known there was something dark about him. Ever since I caught him watching you shower, Obi-Wan -"

"What?!"

"I've kept an eye on him. Now, if Xanatos will back me up, we can get him out of office before he can do any real harm."

"I'd be glad to," Xanatos murmured, still sitting on the floor. He removed a few tiny hairpins, and what had appeared to be horns untwisted into long, shining black hair.

"Qui-Gon, I'm sorry I attacked you and your padawan. I was hoping you would end my miserable life - the only escape from Sidious' horrible slavery."

Qui-Gon stroked his former padawan's hair. "Xanax," he said, using his crèche nickname, "I've always wondered what happened to you. The way I found you was alarming, but I am very, very glad that you are found."

"There were so many times I wished I was back with the Jedi - but - could I? Is there any returning from the Dark Side, once a Jedi has turned?"

"Hey!" Anakin Skywalker ran into the generator area, accompanied by Amidala. "There's that little dog you were telling me about!"

"Yes, it's Ping!" Amidala knelt down and hugged the little pug. "Ani, press that button over there to raise the guard rails, will you? I don't know who keeps lowering them. It could be really dangerous in here without them!"

As the guard rails went up, five more little dogs trotted into what was now a pleasant balcony area. "Look, here come the handmaidens' pugs: Ling, Zing, Sing, Wing and KaChing!"

Qui-Gon looked on, astonished, as the six identical pugs started running in circles, much like a pod race. "Amidala, why all the dogs?"

The princess blushed. "I wanted something cute to take care of, you know? I'm way too young to think about babies - not 'til I'm at least 30, and retired from politics. Some girls get involved with inappropriate boyfriends at this stage, but I knew I didn't need the distraction from my duties. So I got Ping. Then the handmaidens each had to get their own."

A loud whistle split the air, and KaChing ran off in its direction. He soon trotted back, bearing a rider.

"Yoda!" Xanatos gasped as the tiny Jedi Master dismounted. "Yoda, I'm so sorry I left the Jedi. I can't tell you how awful it's been."

Yoda patted Xanatos on the head fondly. "Yes. Regret it I knew you would. Your repentance I can feel in the Force. Sincere it is. Rejoin the Jedi you may."

Xanatos, kneeling, hugged the green Jedi affectionately. "Thank you!"

"Complete a brief rehabilitation course, you must. Then a job I have for you. A padawan there is who needs a Master."

Anakin's eyes grew wide. "Me? Xanatos is gonna be my Master? Wizard!"

"Yes, my boy. A young master you need, one who can keep up with you. One who can tell you from his own experience that overrated, the Dark Side is."

"I feel like such an idiot, my Masters," Xanatos said. "How could I have gone so wrong?"

"Feel bad you should not. Turn to the Dark Side many young padawans do briefly. A phase it is. Even your own Master Qui-Gon turned, when he was a boy."

Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon, astonished. "Really? What happened?"

"Not even a real Sith Lord did he turn to, but a cleaner in the Temple wearing a stage costume." Yoda chuckled. "Gullible my padawan was in his youth. If a girl, pregnant he would always be."

"My prodigal padawan saved - what could be more wonderful?"

"Your other padawan, declaring his love." Obi-Wan stepped forward. "Qui-Gon, I've always admired you as a Master, a Jedi, a father figure. In the last few years, my feelings have changed from admiration to love."

"Obi-Wan, can this be? I've always admired you, your grace, your beauty, your strength - although not in a physical way until later, because that would have been creepy. I would never have said anything to you about it, to avoid the appearance of impropriety."

"Qui-Gon, I always dreamed that you might return my love, but didn't dare speak of it for fear of rejection. When I saw that hideous Sith (sorry, Xan) attack you, I thought that I'd waited too late." With that, the padawan embraced his Master.

Xanatos looked on, only mildly jealous.

"Thank the Force for these wonderful pugs of yours, Amidala! Without them, it really would have been too late."


End file.
